I Disapprove-Office Holiday Party Edition

Oh man! There isn't enough free Bordeaux in the world to make me happy about being at a party with card-trick magicians, clowns, stilt-walkers, and MIMES!!!!

Ok, so Tony's company holiday party wasn't that bad, even though it did in fact contain all of the above objectionable performers. As corporate parties go, it was pretty cool, in fact, even if I did go a bit overboard on the quiche. Tony works with some pretty nice people, and I had a highly entertaining conversation with Juan's feisty Dominican wife. She's from New York and is just abrasive enough to be totally adorable and interesting to me.

But I found myself actually changing course when walking across the room a few times so I wouldn't have a run-in with the mime and the stilt-walking guy. I actually almost broke into a horror movie "running in high heels" moment to avoid that stilt guy. He creeped me out for some reason, and after my third cocktail, usually I am pretty friendly with everyone.

I am not a big fan of card and rope trick magicians, and this party had a number of them roaming about to entertain us. I am in agreement with my friend Ted, who believes that magic tricks are just fancy lies with silk handkerchiefs up the sleeves. I am such an honest person that I don't appreciate lies of any kind, least of all for my amusement.

I know, I know. What is the harm in an innocent little card trick? No, man. Fuck that. You gotta draw the line somewhere. Otherwise, the terrorists win. And by terrorists, I mean mimes.

I Disapprove-Littering

I usually avoid the use of the phrase "pet peeve", since I generally disapprove of a lot of things. That is a lot of pets. But one thing that really gets my dander up is people who litter.

I can't tell you how many times I have been in a beautiful setting like a national park or hiking trail, only to see other people's trash out in the middle of nowhere. It makes my blood boil.

When I was a kid, two of my favorite friends were Woodsy Owl and Smokey the Bear. My grandparents were careful to instill the value of a well maintained campsite in me. Whenever we arrived at a new campsite, my grandparents often would be about the business of setting up the camper and would hand me a small trash bag so I could tidy up. I seem to recall getting paid a penny for every piece of trash I picked up in the campsite. Sadly, I always had money for gum, because I often found discarded bottle tops, etc. to pick up. We always left our campsites in better condition than we found them, without fail.

One of my walking routes around my neighborhood takes me past McQueen High School. I can't tell you how much damn litter I see around there. Not just little stuff, either. Whole red bull cans, pizza boxes, ice cream cups, plastic spoons. If I chucked my litter out a car window or just threw trash on the ground like that, my grandfather would come back from the dead just to kick my ass. It bothers me a lot.

That sounded dangerously close to a "kids these days" comment, didn't it? I think most people are just pigs. I would seriously have to rethink my friendship with a person if I saw them litter in the street. What the hell is wrong with people? Grrr.