Is Obsession Love?

So, today is John Taylor's 51st birthday. I'll hasten to point out here that I did not have this penciled in red on my calendar, but got a reminder on Facebook from the Duran Duran fan page. But it did give me a moment's pause to remember him fondly, and I realized that I have similar feelings for some of my old lovers. That warm-if-distant affection that never quite goes away.

I was obsessed with John Taylor from at least 1983 to 1988. I was an epic Duranie of the highest order. I LOVED them. I had John Taylor's haircut, even. Yes, I had a spectacular, aquanet-crunchy mullet, but that is a subject for another time. It made me happy. I loved the music, the style, the guyliner, all of it. And in my secret heart, I still do love it, although perhaps not with the capital "L" of my teen years.

I know I am capable of  my obsessions from time to time. They called me OCD girl in Anatomy class for the way I studied. Obsession can be useful when applied to academic pursuits, but love probably isn't in the same class of things that can benefit from that much attention.

I'm wondering to myself if I applied that same sort of devotion to my boyfriends in the past? I wonder what it is like to have a relationship with me. I'm all intensity and ferocity and passion. I want to break open my lovers and get to the gooey middle and taste the true depth of them. That might be scary, I guess, but I don't judge their flaws like they worry I would. I want them to give me a reason to be their biggest fan. I ask a lot of people. I want to know people on the deepest level possible. I want to try their favorite breakfast cereal and see if I like it too. I want to listen to their favorite records and see what effect the people who influenced them will have on me. If there were a Tiger Beat magazine that had my real friends on the cover I would totally buy it. I go deep or go home, because surface associations are next to useless to me.

I love John Taylor. I don't really know him at all, but whatever feelings I nursed for him as a young woman full of hormones burn in me still. He's getting older and so am I, but I still would probably pee my pants with excitement if I met him in person. But as we age together, I know that he has shaped me as much as anyone else I have loved. I gave oatmeal another chance because he loves it. So I guess obsession sometimes is good for me.

Happy Birthday Keith!

Today is my dear friend Keith's birthday. This is him in 1984. Today he is 39 and even cuter.

Happy Birthday, dude. I wish I could take you out for a pint today. You deserve all the good things in life.

Celebrity Crush: Justin Theroux

I love Justin Theroux. He is my boyfriend. He has that whole dark hair/fair skin/post-punk attitude that just makes me weak in the knees. He's just hot. I have seen interviews with him and he comes across as literate and interesting, which I can't resist.

I have written at least two fictional characters that if a film were made of the story, I would cast him if I had the choice.

I'm watching "Mulholland Drive" today, and he is just awesome in that. He was also great on "Six Feet Under". Yum.

Celebrity Crush: Richard Hammond

I gotta admit, this one is a little bizarre, but I am starting to have more than one "type". I have the first blush of a new celebrity crush: Richard Hammond from the BBC show "Top Gear".

He's just a little bit of a thing, embarrassingly nicknamed "Hamster". He's wee. I wanna squeeze him. I have impure thoughts about him, even though I would crush him with my bodacious curves.

What's his deal? What inspired my fan-lust?

He's smart and funny. Oh my. Top Gear is hilarious, anyway. But he really makes me laugh. I love a guy that can make me laugh.

Quirky good looks. He isn't classically good looking, but he has big, expressive eyes and a great smile. His co-hosts on Top Gear joke about him using teeth whiteners all the time.

British. It is well known that I love the Brits. I must be harboring a secret desire to marry a cousin. (eeeewwwww, just kidding!)

Pixie-man physique. I never did go for the big, brawny types. For some reason lately, I have been very attracted to delicate, petite men. So odd. I used to love toweringly tall guys. Now it is all about tiny men with big brains.

He drives fast cars for a living. Rawr. Even though he famously almost died in a jet powered car accident, he's got that expert driver thing going for him. He also describes his driving experience with evident pleasure. That is immensely appealing to me.

He can take a joke. Jeremy and James on Top Gear have a great deal of sport with him. It's fun.

He's almost my age. For you freaks who accuse me of only liking the young boys, Hammond is a year younger than me, and looks naturally aging. Cute smile lines and all.

*swoon*