New Slang: Suit Farm

Just another Stacie-ism:

Suit farm: any restaurant where lawyers and investment bankers congregate in large groups.

Tony Slang

One thing that Tony and I have in common is the tendency to make up words for things. The collection of funny slang we have between us is part of our shorthand. Since we have known each other almost 20 years, it saves a lot of time that we have our own language. I have covered some Stacie-isms in this space, but Tony has a few that are commonly used:

Ferrante Hive-Mind: The fact that after being married for 13 years, we are pretty sure we just have the one brain between us. There is a lot of finishing each other's sentences that goes on. Some of those sentences would be pretty obscure, too.

Lobster Shower: The fact that Stacie likes the shower so hot that the skin goes super pink. Tony likes it at least 10 degrees cooler.

There are lots more, but those two came to mind.

New Stacie-ism

"Shark Head"

The condition of having so many worries and obsessive thoughts going around in your head, you feel like you have to "keep moving" or you will die. Experienced most often by extreme Type-A personalities. Usually results in downward spiral thinking. In advanced cases, leads to...


"Nuttin' up"

Going bonkers.


Don't ask me how I know this, but I know I am not the only one.

Funny Stacie-isms

Translated for your convenience: Some original slang created by yours truly.

Hitchhiking to the moon: Male masturbation. Mimic the hand gesture and it makes sense.

Shut yer scone hole: Be quiet, please.

Geriatric Speedball: Laxative+Milk

Rebel Role Model: A trend follower who thinks they are edgy and original. See: Hot Topic Shopper

Chef's Manicure: When you cut your thumbnail off with a knife by accident.

Chef's Hair Removal Treatment: When you light your arm hair on fire.

Fossil Fuel: Old man farts. Usually after consuming Geriatric Speedball, above. Don't ask how I know this.

Shiny Object: Anything that distracts a person enough to change the topic of conversation.

Mean Drunk: My little girl after consuming too many Pez. Alternately, my dachshund.

Pinecones, spraypainted gold and covered with Elvis stickers: Any sort of craft project.

Name and Address: As in "her skirt is so short you can see her name and address".

Arrangement: Guy gear. Otherwise known as the package. As in "nice arrangement in that Calvin Klein underwear ad"

Apocalypse Cheerleader: Any radical religious fanatic that wants to bring about the end of the world. See: President Bush and Mike Huckabee


Am I missing any?