Hey, guess what? I'm feeling a little pissed off today and here's why:
According to our popular culture:
It is okay to be fat as long as you are funny.
You can be hot if you are older, but only if you are skinny.
You can be sexy if you are curvy but not TOO MUCH.
You can be a feminist, but why be so ANGRY?
It is okay to be angry, but for cryin' out loud, get some botox so you don't LOOK angry. And don't be fat and angry.
But if you are middle aged, overweight, and dare to try to feel even the slightest bit attractive, good freaking luck. You can be old and hot or fat and hot, but both??? Nobody wants to see that.
I'm pitching fits. Culturally speaking, there is no place for me. Sexually speaking, at least in terms of popular culture, I am dead in the water, and any complaining about it is just old-lady bitching. Women who are younger than me seem to come away with the impression that because I look like a soccer mom, that I never had any fun when I was younger. I actually had a girl tell me that she just can't picture me ever being the type to wear a short skirt and drink and generally get into trouble.
In other words, I have become harmless. My femme-fatale days are over to other people, and apparently I was the last to get the memo. Whatever sensuality I possess is now expected to be subdued, refined, or, you know, invisible.
Not that I haven't mellowed with age, but that is just crap. I have no desire to be compared to a fine wine that gets better with age. I am different, but like all women in their forties, I am deeply aware of and interested in my sexual life. Like many women with naturally curvy bodies, I want to enjoy mine.
So here it is:
I'm aging, just like you are. ALL OF YOU. I'm also fat by many standards. I have little wrinkles from worrying on my forehead.
I also really enjoy sex, and I am probably better at it than you are. So there. I'm not self censoring any more for your comfort.
Don't forget, you can be fat, sexy and angry, as long as you're black.
ReplyDeleteAnyone who thinks you're a soccer mom doesn't really know anything about you and is woefully short of intelligence. They have so few boxes to put people in, they have to put people in boxes that have nothing to do with them. Plus, the boxes aren't even of their own making; they've gotten them from watching too much TV.
Stereotyping is a survival instinct, but smart folks look beyond initial impressions and are willing to be surprised at what they find. Stupid people aren't worth worrying about, anyway.
If you think this is bad, picture 55.
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ReplyDeleteI so relate! I was once young, pretty, thin and strong and independent. I needed no one. Now I am nearing 54; I am disabled and alone, add to that fat and boom! instant recipe for undesirable to anyone. Being older is tough enough as it is, getting hurt and being disabled so you can't do anything to get back in shape sucks too but never in my life did I expect to be fat, old, disabled and all alone in this world, especially at this age and beyond but it is all I have to look forward to.
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