Funny Stacie-isms

Translated for your convenience: Some original slang created by yours truly.

Hitchhiking to the moon: Male masturbation. Mimic the hand gesture and it makes sense.

Shut yer scone hole: Be quiet, please.

Geriatric Speedball: Laxative+Milk

Rebel Role Model: A trend follower who thinks they are edgy and original. See: Hot Topic Shopper

Chef's Manicure: When you cut your thumbnail off with a knife by accident.

Chef's Hair Removal Treatment: When you light your arm hair on fire.

Fossil Fuel: Old man farts. Usually after consuming Geriatric Speedball, above. Don't ask how I know this.

Shiny Object: Anything that distracts a person enough to change the topic of conversation.

Mean Drunk: My little girl after consuming too many Pez. Alternately, my dachshund.

Pinecones, spraypainted gold and covered with Elvis stickers: Any sort of craft project.

Name and Address: As in "her skirt is so short you can see her name and address".

Arrangement: Guy gear. Otherwise known as the package. As in "nice arrangement in that Calvin Klein underwear ad"

Apocalypse Cheerleader: Any radical religious fanatic that wants to bring about the end of the world. See: President Bush and Mike Huckabee


Am I missing any?