Ok dude, this is so messed up.As a foster parent to "A", I am not permitted to change her hairstyle in any way without her bio-parents' permission. But they want her bangs cut, so I am obliged to keep up with regular trimming of her bangs. Mind you, I have to take parenting direction on this issue from people who can't stay out of jail long enough to parent her.
A's former foster mother, let's call her "R", used to cut her bangs herself, and reported to me that A had no problems with haircuts and held very still for them.
I know that I can't even DRAW a straight line, so the idea of cutting the bangs of a wriggly 2 1/2 year old seemed a recipe for blinding my child. I can just see that conversation with her caseworker. "Um, yeah. You know that kid you removed from a neglectful home and gave to me for safe-keeping? Yeah, funny thing. She decided she wanted to be a pirate, so I made it so she can wear an eye patch for life. Cool, huh? I'm going to go for the peg-leg and hook-hand next." Thus, I elected to take her to the haircut place where Tony (my husband) gets his haircuts.
I warned the lady that I had no idea how A would react to getting a professional haircut. As I feared, A cried and thrashed around in my lap while the hairdresser attempted to cut her bangs. While it was still damp it looked fine, so I thanked them for their patience, paid and left.
Well, when it dried, I noticed that her bangs are TOTALLY crooked! Like, OH MY GOD crooked. Like "I could have done it better myself" crooked.
We have a visit with her bio-dad tomorrow. He likes to examine her appearance thoroughly and pick me apart if her nails are too long. He is going to have a field day with her hair.
I could try to straighten the line of her bangs by trimming the other side, but I am worried I am just going to make it worse. Tony is going to try. He at least can draw a straight line. His "daddy-fu" is strong.
Still, I actually have to call her case worker and report that I was a bad mommy and obtained a bad haircut for a child in my care, as if it wasn't embarrassing enough. I can't do like other parents and just put a hat on her until it grows out. I can't even blame it on her and say she did it to herself with the safety scissors.
Oh, and who the fuck decided it was a good idea to give a sucker to a girl with long hair who has just gotten a haircut? I now have to wash out the sticky sucker-drool out of the tendrils that fall into her face every freaking time she had a lookie-loo at the sucker. When I took the sucker away in the parking lot (so she wouldn't choke on it in the car seat) she had a nice, sugar-induced tantrum that caused a guy in the next car to give me one of THOSE looks. You know the look. The one that sums up my entire parenting and finds it lacking. He doesn't know she has only been living with me for 2 weeks. He just sees the out of control 2 minutes of a toddler who he then assumes is always like that, which isn't the case. I just became the poster child for birth control, and I have never given birth.
Nice.
Next stop, beauty supply for hair-cutting scissors and office supply for a protractor. Time to learn some new skills.
Do you get to attend the visitations? I bet not, huh. So heart wrenching. Please tell me they won't get their act together by the January cut-off date.
ReplyDelete@Minya
ReplyDeleteIt is hard to say if they will get their act together. Even if they don't, they can still make a lot of drama in the meantime.
No, when I take A for her visits, I either have to sit in the waiting room, or I can go out and come back. Last week I went to the Library for a few minutes and tried to do homework. It was impossible to concentrate. It was a good thing I went back early, because bio-dad cut his visit 10 minutes short because she was fussing.
>>bio-dad cut his visit 10 minutes short because she was fussing.<<
ReplyDeleteNice.
I am so glad she's with you. I bet you can't wait for total freedom! How retarded that you have to worry about silly little things like a bad hair cut. I think we all experience them!
When Cameron was 2, I was cutting his hair with a pair of electric clippers. I had on an attachment so it wasn't a really close cut. I was going across the top of his head when the attachment spontaniously flew off and I cut off a chunk of his hair right to the scalp. No skin (thank gawds), just cut the hair in about a 3 inch streak bald right on top.
I immediately turn off the clippers and drop them. My hands fly to my mouth and I just stood there and stared at his head, in complete shock, realizing I would have to shave the rest of his head bald to "fix" it.
As I start chanting, "Omigawd, omigawd, omigawd..." Cameron just looks up at me from his high chair and starts to laugh.
Shit happens. I cried, the kid laughed, and he was bald for a month.
;-P
My grandmother shaved off my brother's eyebrows once using an electric razor. TOTALLY hilarious..now. Back then not so much.
ReplyDeleteFussing? What kind of shit is that!? Why don't they just terminate their rights now??? Guilt over being the shittiest parents ever maybe?
sooo.....did tony fix her bangs, or did her dad freak? if he left the visit early because of the "fussing" i am sure he wasn't very attentive in other ways either, just thought i'd ask =)
ReplyDeleteTony straightened them out as much as he could, but they will need to grow out a bit more before we try to straighten them out any further, lest she end up looking totally short bus!
ReplyDelete