Ok, first off to all of you dang lurkers who mentioned to me that you read my blog, where are your comments? Does the phrase "attention whore" mean nothing to you? I can't stand the echo chamber.I have one more final to go for this semester and then I am taking a semester off school. I NEED it. Trying to get used to being a parent is hard enough without stupid math and political science crap clogging my overtaxed brain. Honestly, overwhelmed does not even cover it.
I feel corked up, though, emotionally. I spend a little of my time hiding my feelings of fear of loss from the little girl in my life. But even when I am alone I can't let it out. I have a lot going on right now and feel I would benefit from a huge crying jag, but zippo. I can't cry. Even when I give myself permission. That can't be good.
I guess this is what they mean by "adjustment disorder". But it isn't good that I am not getting any catharsis at all. I know I will be okay in the end, but I don't want it to all come out at the wrong time.
I know, I'm a control freak, scheduling my panic attacks like everything else.
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