Okay, Now What?

So I have passed the NCLEX exam and can check the whole "get a career" thing off my to-do list (again-I did this when I became a chef, too). It is a huge relief to have Nursing School behind me and a freshly minted RN license in my pocket. I'm in my new job and loving it even though I am "the new guy" and still grinding gears and finding my way around. My patients like me and the doctors are receptive to my input. I even heard an attending physician tell a resident that I know my stuff. (Oh my gosh that felt good!)

I'm also on the precipice of building my family in a more permanent way. Still holding my breath for the legal hurdles we face over Little J next month. We have reasons to be optimistic about that, although until he is finally adopted I will not be able to exhale. Too many weird things happen in the courts for me to be able to predict the outcome with anything like confidence.

After years of excruciating work and no small measure of heartbreak, all of the above came to fruition at the same time. We moved into our wonderful new house, I graduated, we got a kid the next day, and I passed the boards last week. Life has been pretty lively. I'm just now starting to enjoy the rewards of all this rapid-fire change.

As any good Warrior Goddess would, I thrive when I am conquering. Resting on my laurels has never been my thing. I like to look ahead and dream big and overcome the trials to get the prize. I'm trying to open my mind to what comes next. I am taking a year off of school so I can explore my new job and decide what path to take to advance in my career. At some point I will have to decide if Little J will remain an only child or if I dare tempt fate to ask for a daughter again. Big stuff.


Here's some possible school options:

1. Bridge to my BSN degree: This will most certainly happen, I just need to work out how soon to tackle that odious set of prerequisites. I need to take Statistics and some Chemistry. Ugh. 
2. Become a Nurse Practitioner? Maybe. If I really like clinical practice and find floor nursing limiting, this would be a good option.
3. Masters/PhD in Medical Anthropology: I LOVE this idea, but sadly UNR's Anthropology program is one I have ruled out as an option for a number of reasons. If I go with this option, we would have to move out of state. Not that I can't handle an adventure, it is just a really big move/investment. Tony would need to agree, and I just don't think he is ready for me to be heavy into school again like that. Nursing School was tough enough on our relationship.

Here's some possible family options:

1. Adopt privately: Avoid the rigors of Washoe County altogether and find an agency I can stand to work with. Adopt a domestic infant or go abroad. Costly, but less uncertainty (only a little less) once a match is made.
2. Continue to foster: Could we get lucky again or will we get our hearts broken? Big, huge gamble. Very low legal costs once an adoption can happen. Big time commitment. 
3. Keep J as an only child: I dunno. I don't feel like the family is quite "done". Most parents can relate to that. You know when you are done adding members to the family, and I'm not there yet.
4. Get another dog: We got Ember at a time when I was dying for a baby and it just wasn't happening. It helped me by giving me something small and helpless to nurture. Still, having only one dog now is less chaotic.

Misc. Goals:

1. I need to do things to enhance my health and physical energy. In other words, get a grip on my stress-eating and get my butt off the sofa. Lots of options and classes, but have been waiting for my schedule to shake out.
2. I need to get back in the groove of making art. That is: writing and also trying out other forms I have always wanted to improve in. I can't decide if blogging counts.
3. Getting my spiritual house in order so that I can do ANY of the above with a little more hope and faith, rather than stressing out all the time.
4. Take a vacation to Europe. This is way overdue.

Show 'em yer NUTS!

Since I am allergic to walnuts, pecans, and Brazil nuts, I usually can't buy trail mix, so I make my own. I am trying to find ways to eat things that have nothing to do with the crap that is in the vending machines at school. So I am putting snacks in my backpack that will support my desire to support my brain with healthy food.

Today's mix:

Raw almonds
Toasted shelled pumpkin seeds
Toasted Sunflower seeds
Cashews
Raisins (not too many)

I also have a bag of dried mango for when I want something sweet.

Any other suggestions?

Ok, Now GO!!

Ok, so since nothing can ever be simple, I have an onslaught of in-laws coming to town tomorrow. They will be here until Tuesday or so. If you can believe it, my classes start Monday, and I am somehow already behind with reading assignments that are already due the first 2 days of class. And I must work on Thursday and Friday! Ack!

BREATHE, STACIE!

I am actually not too stressed, yet. I just keep telling myself that the first few weeks are going to be an adjustment, but that I have a plan. That plan involves being kind to myself, doing healthy things like eating well and exercising, and getting some rest.

It is going to be okay. Yes, it is a rigorous course of study. I am just going to do it in the most centered way that I can, and when I get harried I will remember all the wonderful people that are pulling for me and that want to see me succeed.

And Tony just told me that he is getting me a new laptop this weekend! Yay! How timely. And my campus is wireless-enabled, so I should be better able to keep up with things. Good, good stuff. Amazing what a difference stuff like that makes.

I just got back from bellydance class. In keeping with my plan to be kind to myself, I am not going to go into a diatribe about how hard it is to look at my body being this out of shape. I am going to the gym and this dance class, so the fact that I am working on it will have to be good enough for now. But oh! *slaps own hand* Ok, enough whining!

I am just going to stay in the space where I am grateful. That does seem to help.

• I have a generous scholarship that is going to take care of the money so I can concentrate on my studies. Other students are not so lucky.
• I have a loving family.
• I have wonderful friends that inspire me to be the best person I can be.
• I have the tools and the skills and the brains to do this.
• I can be confident and trust that this will work out and I can thrive where others may falter.
  
• I am strong and have the spiritual backbone to weather the challenges.

Just keep breathing with me and sending me love.