Sunday, June 15, 2008

Things I don't approve of

Sometimes I love being a misanthrope. Some of my cranky reactions to the world make me laugh.

I am a judgmental, disapproving little thing. Some Examples :

  1. Strawberry-Banana flavored stuff: Strawberries are great and bananas are great, but why mix them? Actual fruit strawberry-banana smoothies are pretty good, because they taste like actual fruit and the banana gives it a nice texture. But candy, yogurt, or other stuff just tastes fakey-fake and nasty.
  2. People who spoil the endings of movies and then ask "Oh, were your going to see that?" *slaps forehead*
  3. People who laugh at my joke and then say "I don't get it." Conversely, those same people tend to start off telling a joke and then forget the punchline midstream.
  4. Walnuts in brownies. I would think that was gross even if I weren't drop-dead allergic.
  5. Why do so many products that are ostensibly for children have to be filled with food dyes and high-fructose corn syrup? I don't buy that stuff, but sheesh, it sure takes up a lot of room at the store, and Little A sure sees it where it is placed at her eye level. Then I have to be the bitch mommy who says no all the time.
  6. Mixed bags of jelly beans. Who the hell takes a random handful that would have possibly cherry and lime and black licorice in it? Then again, my OCD forces me to sort even my same-tasting M&M's by color.
  7. Companies that market padded bras and thong underwear for six-year olds. Oh, google it yourself.
  8. Companies that think it OK to give growth hormones to cows, causing 6 year olds to need bras.
  9. Parenting magazines. For the most part they are just the same as Cosmopolitan is for single people: bad advice and stupid ads to make you feel guilty/insecure/vulnerable to sales pitches for cellulite cream and children's lingerie.
  10. "Womens'"magazines. I didn't start having a good love life until I gave up on reading Cosmo et al. Besides, I don't need the "20 tricks he wish you knew in bed" article. Here's the gist of it. Guys like more head. That's pretty much it.

1 comment:

  1. oh yeah
    TRY finding a cough medicine for calming relief that does not include red #40--the crazy maker
    I kid you not
    put a "normal" kid on red die #40 and they are a wacko, put a questionable child on it and.....
    no wonder I HATED teaching 4th graders right after lunch where they all drank red "fruit" juice

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