If I have one major personality flaw, it is that I talk WAY too loud when nervous or excited. All those years of doing choir and theatre have given me the dubious gift of theatrical projection, perhaps in situations where being more quiet is warranted.
The funny thing is that I am sort of sensitive about it. I get upset when people give me shit about it. Maybe because they really mean it and are not playfully teasing. I don't know. But if you want to see me get pissed off in record time, give me shit about how much or how loudly I talk.
So, Colin and I went to the movies yesterday to see "Twilight" (the book is better, isn't it always?). Before the previews, we were chatting animatedly, like we generally do. Colin and I have the gift of gab together and have great, funny conversations about everything under the sun. The topic had veered onto a discussion about a friend who is very sick with a mysterious illness, and actually was a little serious.
But I guess I was talking too loud, and this woman sitting behind us kinda exploded at me. It went a little like this:
Me: So, they don't know what is wrong and they have done tests on about everything...
Colin: I hate to say this, but have they tested this person for Syphilis?
Me: Oh, I don't know if I could ask them that...
Crazy Bitch: Well, I DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!!!
Me: : Excuse me...
CB: You talk way to loud (hateful tone of voice and facial expression)
Me: Don't worry, I'll be quiet as a mouse during the movie.
CB: You'd better!
Me: (sarcastic, acid tone) Well, thank you so much for letting me know your concerns.
CB: (even more sarcastic and dripping with malice) You're welcome.
At this point, I notice the woman's young teenage daughter, with a face full of righteous fervor. I was just winding up to take this nutcase to school, but I saw that it was just going to get me kicked out of the theater, and it just wasn't worth it.
So I did some seething through the whole movie. I had let it go in terms of not having a major public altercation, but I was still pissed.
Why did she have to resort to totally hateful approach right off the bat? If she had approached me politely, I would have apologized sincerely and quieted down. I know I talk loud. I would have been embarrassed but not angry. I could have saved a little face, at least.
But no, she had to go nuclear as a first course. Honestly, I think that makes her the rude one. That made me defensive and bitchy. I have no patience for that. I was still mad when the movie was over and was prepared to confront her in the lobby, but they skedaddled as soon as the credits started rolling.
They are probably high-fiving at brunch today about how they bitch-slapped me. But don't piss me off, or I will probably write about it. Jerks.
I'm a sweet person, really. But I have a temper.
It is her loss. She's the one with the ugly wrinkles from frowning and the daughter who will turn out to be a judgmental bitch. I wonder how that is going to work out for her when the time comes to pick out her nursing home?
Or maybe her daughter will get syphilis. Seems her mother wants her shielded from hearing about it. I don't think purity rings guard against that, though.
Wow, well don't think about it any more, which is hard to do, but there are some crazy ones out there, lol. A few weeks ago I approacjed the checkout in a used bookstore. Twenty feet from the regidter a middle aged woman stood stonily gazing into space. After a moment or two, I walked around her, the additional twenty feet and handed the books to the clerk. After a moment the woman sneered "Did you just break in line?", LOL!!! The clerk looked nervous but I am a bit of a smart ass and replied that "No, I just walked around you while you stared in a daze at the wll twenty feet at the register." She didn't like that, but I asked if she felt she wanted to go first, just to taunt her, and hilariously and with great self-ritousness she said yes, handing her books to the nervous clerk in a huff. After she paid, I cheerily aksed if her day would be better now and waved goodby! The clerk looked ready to press a silent alarm for management. Maybe it's me, a few days ago in the same store parking lot, I waited for a girl to back out of a spot so I could pass. No eye contact, not in a hurry, I as a matter of fact was looking at a book or something, adjusting the radio, not really paying attention, but as she left she slowed, gave me a look worthy of your woman's daughter, shot me the bird and raced away. People, the more I know them the better my dog seems. Alan
ReplyDeleteSomeone neglected to tell the lady that it's polite to ignore other people's conversations before the movie as being none of their business and only if the conversation continues are you allowed to comment. Then, the first attempt to quiet said patron is the subtle "Shhh!" MUST be attempted before saying any actual words! If one is offended by someone's conversation, one is always welcome to change one's seat. This woman clearly did NOT read the guidebook on this one and she is the Obnoxious Bitch, not you!
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