Wanderlust

I have 4 months until I go to school full time. It seems like that would be plenty of time to do stuff that I want to do and also buy textbooks and pay tuition, etc. Maybe it is. All I know is that I am hip-deep in scholarship paperwork and so many demands for money that I am feeling a bit pinned down.

What I really want is a long, solo road trip. I want to taste salt air. I want to get kidnapped after a fashion and have some new, fun shit happen to me before I have to buckle down for 2 years of intense study and 3 years of mandated payback work.

All of my time off from work has centered around taking A to doctor appointments and visits with her bio family. I haven't taken much time for myself. And when I did go to SF a while back, I got totally sick and that certainly minimized my enjoyment.

But planning any kind of trip, family or solo, gets hampered by the stack of mounting bills for this school project. One of my fall classes has 12 textbooks! Twelve! What the hell? Between that and my fervent desire to pay off my car, trying to carve out a lost weekend seems impossible.

You would think I would want more family time, but I have always hankered for alone time trips. Becoming a parent has not changed that desire. It might seem selfish and maybe it is, but my sanity is sometimes tenuous and a long drive clears the cobwebs like nothing else.