My muse is a fickle bastard, but I love him with surprising depth. He isn't always sure that he loves me or wants to stick around, but I have never let that get in the way of having a fine romance. :) I am just glad that I am in a period of creative productivity. It improves my whole outlook on life, and makes me generally more genial to be around. Being seized with the compelling urge to write at the same time as having the time and materials to do it is heady stuff indeed. I have been writing more poetry, and other projects as well as blogging.I had a nice run of a writing jag yesterday. The whole story for the collaborative project I am doing with Kathleen, "Twinkle", got written start to finish in a few hours. It is sweet and kinda funny and gentle. I can't even begin to describe how delicious that felt.To put icing on that already scrumptious cake, she liked it and it will need very little revision.
Some interesting things are happening to me lately. I have tapped into this unexpected wellspring of tenderness and sweetness in myself. Not in just a sappy sentimental way, although there are some aspects of that. I just have more energy for my friendships and this overflowing LOVE feeling.
I had really come to believe that all of the innocence of my youth was gone, and with it all the hope of any kind of bliss. So many disappointments and hardships have drifted under my bridge that I have been quite cynical for a long time. I am both surprised and confused to be wrong. It is like feeling good is a foreign sensation.
But it feels good to feel good. It is a revelation. The muse is awake and on the job. I feel like I am being given amazing gifts every day, almost as intimate as kisses. I have an increased awareness of the beauty around me. It isn't bliss so much as a hint of a promise of bliss.
Even if my muse leaves me, I have to be grateful for the breath of life he has bestowed upon me. It is like I have been sleepwalking and am finally aroused from slumber. I can only hope it lasts and that I maintain his good graces. A girl could get used to this kind of thing.
Isn't that marvelous?! To have that part of you back, to be reminded that sometimes we just need to cut back the dead wood of whatever it is that is holding us back from happiness, from success, from feeling right with the world, even for a time. And in grows something beautiful.
ReplyDeleteSo glad to see you rekindle your romance with your truly happy side! Twinkle merrily on!